


First Steps

by Mosey



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 16:59:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16330013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mosey/pseuds/Mosey
Summary: Killua doesn't know how to dance.





	First Steps

Music bounces off the castle walls and into the streets of Limeiro, lined with thousands of NPCs dancing as if they’ve waited thirteen years for this day – which they _have._

Killua has never danced before. To the extent of his knowledge on the subject, jumping up and down doesn't really count as 'dancing' per se... and he's sure he looks like an idiot right now, but he's having a great time and so is Gon. So whatever.

Gon looks just as stupid, eyes shut with a dopey grin plastered over his face as he waves his arms back and forth. He looks so relaxed that it's hard to believe the last seven months have been filled with deadly trials, trainings, and tribulations. Killua glances over to the center of the room. Bisky is dancing with three men, giggling, with five empty beer steins scattered around her feet. He smirks.

They've earned this. Killua's pessimistic thoughts tell him he shouldn't expect the lull in action to last for very long, that it'll be only a matter of time before their lives are on the line again – such is the life of a hunter. He tries to block the thoughts out of his head. It's all the more reason to live it up tonight, he tells himself. Gon is surely thinking the same.

The music begins to quiet and thrumming bass fades into delicate piano notes. The jumping and waving ceases, and the dance floor is suddenly and completely overtaken by sappy couples.

Killua brings his arms behind his head and frowns. Maybe they can grab drinks or snacks or something until the music picks back up. He sighs and turns away from Gon.

"Oh, Killua, are you done dancing?"

He stops in his tracks. "Huh?" He looks back, eyes bugging out when he notices Gon's outstretched hand. "This is a slow dance, Gon," he says, as if it should be completely obvious why they should stop.

Gon's hand remains outstretched. "So?"

"Are you serious?"

"Come on. It'll be fun, trust me."

"Ha! That’s what you said about Greed Island."

Gon smiles wide and impishly. "And it was fun! So dance with me." His persistence is both admirable and regrettable. He reaches for Killua, whose gut reaction is to bat it away – so he does.

"We can't."

The smile quickly turns to a pout, Gon's eyebrows furrowing in frustration. "Why not?"

Putting it into words will only make it sound even stupider than it already is in his head, but Gon isn't going to leave him alone until he answers, that much is certain. "I just... can't, all right? It's not like my family taught me how to– how to _waltz_ between my trainings, y'know..." He feels Gon link his hand in his and nearly jumps out of his skin at the touch.

"I'll teach you," Gon offers, gently. "Killua, you're really amazing, so... I'm sure you'll learn fast."

Killua is losing this battle, he quickly realizes, as he's pulled closer to Gon – not that he had a chance in the first place. He could tell Gon the other truth, that slow dancing with someone is just plain embarrassing and the thought alone of slow dancing together makes his heart feel like it'll catch fire at a moment's notice, but he can't seem to find the words – maybe because his throat is constricting as Gon places a hand on his waist.

"Killua, place your right hand on my shoulder, okay?"

"Fine, fine..." Killua mutters, eyes darting around the dark room with an irrational paranoia, not fully able to register Gon taking one hand in his and resting the other on Killua's hip until it's too late and the dawning embarrassment makes Killua feels like his throat has been crushed by the Testing Gates back home.

Gon smiles – an honest to goodness shit-eating grin, and Killua is somewhat thankful because the new feeling of annoyance welling up inside him is almost enough to drown out his mortification. "Killua," Gon chides, "you need to put your right hand on my shoulder."

Fingers twitching, Killua finally complies.

Gon is right. Learning the steps is not difficult for Killua. After all, mastering Rhythm Echo requires precise movement and timing. After four steps, Killua has mastered it. Gon doesn't acknowledge it verbally, but his relaxed grip and beaming smile say it all.

"So... who taught you how to dance?"

"Oh, um." Gon pauses, eyes rolling up as he thinks. "There's actually a lot of dances and other entertainment on Whale Island held for tourists. An older woman taught me at one of them."

That answer annoys Killua for some reason. "Older...? Like an old lady?"

"Hm, I guess? I don't know."

"Weird."

Gon manages to shrug as they move together. "I guess."

A quietness overcomes them, making Killua more aware of the anxiety bubbling in the pit of his stomach. Instinctually, he eyes his surroundings. Is anyone staring? No... Everyone seems to be lost in their own little worlds. Bisky might actually be out for the count now, approximately _fourteen_ empty glasses at her feet as she snoozes on the floor of the karaoke stage. Next, Killua can’t help but spot several girls from the Aiai village surrounding a clearly inebriated Dwun (Wdwune?) on the dance floor. Plenty more line the room, waiting for someone to offer their hand. "Y'know, you could've danced with anyone else here..."

"Mmm, yeah, but... I wanted to dance with you, Killua."

_It has to be Killua._

Killua leans in, attempting to hide his flushed face as Gon pulls him closer. "That's stupid," he says, muffled by Gon's shoulder.

"No it's not." He can't see it but Killua can hear the smile in Gon's voice. He's placated, and they sway once again into a charged but comfortable silence.

-

Mere minutes have passed but Killua feels disoriented, like seconds are stretching into agonizing, wonderful hours – reality threatening to snap back at him like elastic. How long has he been here? How long has he wanted to be here? There are answers, somewhere, if only Killua could bring himself to look for them.

"This is nice," Gon says, maybe to Killua, maybe to himself – Killua's not sure but he absentmindedly nods anyway. The loss of control, letting Gon sway him back and forth – there's actually something strangely pleasant about it. For once in his life, Killua doesn't feel the need to think three steps ahead, he can just follow Gon, one step at a time. It's so simple, it's intoxicating.

They're closer now, Killua thinks. Feels. Somewhere in the back of his mind, all of Killua's training is yelling at him. Don't let anyone get close to you, don't let anyone touch you, do not hesitate to kill anyone who lays a finger on you. Instead, Killua tries to focus on every point where his and Gon's bodies connect, the burning sensation of touch rescinding to a dull, pleasurable ache. For the first time, it's not fear that's making his heart race.

It's then that Killua does what could be considered the drunkest thing of his life – which is absurd for a number of reasons, including that he had nothing alcoholic to drink and also couldn't get drunk even if he tried. He leans into Gon and fully rests his head on his shoulders, face flushed and heart drumming in his chest. His breath is warm and uneven against Gon's neck, and that's probably gross, but Gon doesn't seem to mind. In fact, his hand on Killua's waist seems to pull him even closer.

"Killua, I'm gonna dip you, okay?" Gon whispers into his ear, and Killua shivers.

"Okay."

The music stops and Gon laughs, the only sound Killua can hear. The colorful lights of the dance floor illuminate the back of his head like a halo. Killua's eyes go wide, he can't see clearly anymore. The lights are too bright, Gon's smile is too bright, and the pressure of Gon's hand on this lower back suddenly feels like it could burn a hole through his skin and spine.

Killua is absolutely overwhelmed.

The tightness in his throat comes back, but this time it's not from a build-up of warm, fuzzy feelings. It's cold, it's scary, and Killua reaches for his throat as if to alleviate a pressure that's not even there. Gon's face is becoming blurry, distorted, and suddenly he's looking straight into Illumi's dark, piercing eyes.

_"Someday you will betray him."_

"Stop it, let me go!"

Gon jerks his hands back and Killua falls unceremoniously onto the floor. "K-Killua, are you all right? Killua? You were–" Gon's shocked expression falters into a frown. "You were crying."

"Huh?" Killua pauses, breathes in. Where is he? Kukuroo Mount– no, Greed Island? The celebration? Lively uptempo music is playing again. It's loud. Killua thinks he can feel his heartbeat reverberating in his chest – or is that the bass? He brings a hand to his face and notices that it feels wet.

"Killua?"

Still on the floor, he looks up, eyes meeting Gon's concerned gaze. He tenses. He ruined it, didn't he. Things were nice, everything was fine, he was having fun with Gon, and then he snapped. Like Illumi said – nothing's changed. He's still a freak, a killer at heart. He can't do anything like a normal human being. He's tainted.

Killua might cry again. How stupid. He starts to cover his face with his hands but Gon takes them first.

"Did you want to stop, Killua?"

He shakes his head. The voice says he should, but – no, he doesn’t! He never wants to, but... "The song's over, though..." he realizes, sadly.

"Doesn't matter," Gon says, and brings him into his arms like it's natural.

It's so simple. It's so stupid. _It's so Gon._ Killua wipes his eyes one last time before he chokes out a laugh. Gon laughs too, and the voice in back of Killua's head seems to fully dissipate.

They begin to sway again, completely ignoring the music in favor of their own rhythm.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. <3


End file.
